Forgiven

I pray someday the world will forgive the perpetrators of the world’s worst crime against humanity. Indeed a human being has not right to end the life of another human being. I hope we understand we were ruled by men deranged, born with great measures of hatred, and unusual hunger for power simply because they grew up powerless and remained powerless.
I pray we understand that for those who obeyed and carried out orders to kill, rape, and destroy were as human as the humans they killed, raped, and destroyed.

From Hitler’s crazed mind, to Idi Amin’s psychopathic mind, they were such lost souls, whose followers now suffer the fate of believing in an ideology of hate, and have to live with it. For all of us affected, the blood of the innocent crying out and having to deal with the curses of our forefathers and mad men who thought they had dethroned God.
We only need many more who are self actualized, who have lived up to the Lord’s expectation of Love and are more than willing to show the world what it means to forgive and let go and to let the Light of God shine in them as we press on with the balm of Gilead which heals the souls of the broken.

We have been plagued, cheated, killed and destroyed; war, strife, famine and droughts are the curses of the greed that permeate the souls of the lost who do not believe the Lord can indeed provide and therefore hoard what they leave behind in death. There are the lost that have brought to themselves the wealth of the world, they were powerful figures, and their followers looked up to them as the answers to the woes of this dreaded world. What became of them? Long gone and forgotten and in their last days wondering if it was worth it.
We forgive our perpetrators because we must understand they are fallible, having to live with the nightmares of what they did. However well they rationalize their feelings and justify their behaviors, the fact is, they were unjust in not pursuing justice for the common good of all.

Indeed, those of us who know and partake of the communion of our Father because of the tortured body and blood of our Lord Christ, we acknowledge that through death we are forgiven, and in life, we live for eternity, assured that we are redeemed and our sins paid for.
None of us deserves the full grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, and yet how do we go about living in pain and suffering when we can give it up?
I sure hope, I pray surely in humility and grace which we do not deserve, step up.. firmly step up, face our perpetrators, our enemies, the ones who killed our dreams and hopes, the people who placed a barrier on our path and the ones who helped the devil destroy life, I pray we shall forgive them…and let go.

Lift Up your Eyes (Genesis 13:5-17

Joel Osteen was speaking and I got thinking about the deep conversation between Abram and God. In other word, God had noted that Abram had acquired land that was not like Lot and He encouraged Abram,
"The LORD said to Abram after Lot had parted from him,
"Lift up your eyes from where you are and look north and south, east and west. ¹⁵ All the land that you see I will give to you and your offspring ^a]">[a] forever. ¹⁶ I will make your offspring like the dust of the earth, so that if anyone could count the dust, then your offspring could be counted. ¹⁷ Go, walk through the length and breadth of the land, for I am giving it to you."
Genesis 13:14-17

That is what I saw desperately want to hear God telling me and I want to believe these words over and over again like making it become water flowing into me like I am in a desert and I need the Living Word to quench my thirst...oh yes!!!! That is what I really want it to be.
Each day I am praying that we shall reconnect it a greater understanding then I pause and wonder whether I am for real or it is just a wish. I am trying to tell God about a hope in my heart, this kind of desire, but it is like I am seated on a fence and I am giving God misguided intention. I do not want any heartbreaks and it is not like I am hoping for one. I made God a promise that I would not let Him down and that I would stick to the hope in my heart come what may. I do not want to give up on this one and I want it to really work.

I have no justifications whatsoever, or may be it is a plea...on the surface I am not really sure how to say things and even blogging might not help get things straight in my heart.
But despite my troubles, God still is patient with me and asks me to lift up my eyes from where I am. It is like He has paused and taken my hand and is telling me something that I really need to hear.
I cannot lose hope at this point in my life, I can neither go back nor sit in my position and worry or be troubled. The opportunities awaiting me are vast and God is encouraging me to reach out with stretched up to conquer what I hope for.
But what puts my spirit back to the top is He knows what I am going through and that is why He asks me to lift up my eyes. God has assured me that all will happen at the right time.
And I will continue to pray until something happens.

My life is in your hand

I am actually listening to the song my life is in your hand. Each word is coming out as stronger as I continue to unravel my thoughts and put them into a sensible story of my life. I am finally calling it a dawn for yesterday and wanting to move on with life and place everything at the cross. I do not mean to say that I have never trusted God, but there are times I have lost track and never got to the depth of what He wanted me to have yet whatever is happenning in my life right now only God's knows the turmoil of my life and I feel like letting go but I know He will tell me to hang on because what I am letting go is a promise I have made. But you can wonder why the hell am I letting go a promise. Because obviously I am not sure about what I am going through, what I am feeling and why I feel the way I feel.
I have had the best relationship with God and I no longer have to sense He is there, I believe He is there. Many times I have seen Jesus walk with me through troubles just because I believed...may be the point of this whole thing is I want Almighty Father to have every inch of my weakness, and turn it to a pot of strength that is filled with the living waters.

I want to let God know that my life is in His hand, that what I am going through it tough at the moment and while I wait for a revelation, I am actually waiting upon Him. God has shown favour on me by revealing to me the deep things that I never knew could come to fruitions. I have always prayed and hoped taht I would meet somebody and I met that somebody not only once but twice. He has even text me, my question is, why would I want to lose trust in the Almighty? At the end...my life is truly in his hand.

A humble letter to God

Dear Father,
Just a short note to let you know that I promised You that I will never disappoint You. You and I know it was a vow. In my heart you know that battle I have been going through. So many things that I go through I cannot do on my own and I have learned to lean on You for now and forever. I know there are angels who are there and watch me wherever I go. But I know and can testify that Jesus Christ really holds my hand and assures me that everything is in line with Your plan. I want you to know, all that is happening to me and in my life is not happening just because it is happening. Everything is happening because Your Hand is on it...your precious Hand is on it. Father, each miracle has brought me closer and closer to you. I hope I have not been too much, but we both know I offer all that I am and I know that deep in my heart no matter how important my dreams and desires are to me, they are also important to you. I know with every fiber of my been that you really do want the best for me. So because of this, I will seek your kingdom and its righteousness. I assure you that I will not have to worry about anything but seek Your Holy face and wait humbly in expectation. Finally God, just know that I am so humbled by Your presence in my life. Your miracles, your manifestation, Your word, Your Holiness has drawn me to you more than ever. Thank you and I love you dearly.

SpringnSunshine

Why I am in Love with Jesus Christ

Okay sounds funny...but why the hell would I say I am in love with Him who has died for me with such great Love and adoration for humanity. But I will gratefully tell you hoping that somewhere along your own journey into understanding who on earth is God in three person, you will also fall in Love with Him literally. I mean falling...falling in His compassionate arms without crushing.

I have been thinking so seriously about why did Jesus Christ have to die on the cross. I was delving into each and every scene throughout his suffering before He died. I have watched the Passion of the Christ and to tell you the truth, it has drawn me closer to God more than ever. The first time I watched it I did shed some tears not of guilt but of happiness. In my mind, I was happy that there was someone who thought humbly about human beings and decided the cross was where He could honour His everlasting love for us.

There is one thing the Devil cannot do that Jesus Christ did...lay down his life for another person in the name of Love. There is one great thing that Jesus Christ did that no other person can do, die for the sinners and for the glory of God. He did lay down his life and go more than just His life and He is seated at the right hand of the Father.

Jesus Christ is a force in which Love dwells, He gave a reason to live and imparted to us the full benefit of the Holy Spirit. He actually let me know that it is actually possible to live without dwelling in the past, but living in the code of Love, Hope and Faith.
There are many songs that I have listened to that have inspired me to look in the life of Jesus Christ from a human perspective. There is Mary did you know which was sang by Clay Aiken who happens to be one of my favourite artist. The song is deep and engages the listener in Mary's life and how she carried the Lord. It sounds so far fetched but the song brings the listener closer to the reality of what God's plans were for Mary. She delivered a child who would deliver her soon.

Another song which I love is Breath of Heaven!!! I love this song because it is my driving force in life. It talks about how Mary is asking for God to be with her though out her giving to the world the son she also loves.

Passion of the Christ is a rather iconic movie if you look at it from a Spiritual perspective, the torture Jesus Christ went through, hanging on the cross, the way the disciples watched helplessly, the way Mary looked at her son...many small things that make Jesus Christ stand out...they make Him greater in a way you will have to be in Him to understand


Jesus Christ is an important figure in my life, the Love of my life, the one I look to in terms of self actualization...self actualization, I mean the man who reached above all thing by choosing the longer route in the name of Love. The One and only One who chose to put down His glory and come as a man so that He could show us the meaning of Love. His death has certainly drawn me closer to the father more than ever.

I have not stopped learning about Him, or the Father or the Holy Spirit. I have a lot to learn about Him and to get to the depth of God and His Love for us as human being.

I pray as you go through life, deep inside of you, you know Jesus Loves you and you can fall in love with Him.

So God help me

I told someone I had a keen interest in someone who she knows. I was going to say a crush on someone...but crush is such a teenager term to use. You would think I am working on hooking up with Rock, but I am not doing that, instead, I am just waiting and hoping for a miracle to reunited us again. I want to tell someone who has enough courage on my behalf to tell Rock that I really do like him a lot but again...sounds so wierd...I have this feeling it will make him less of a man so that is why I hoping he is going to soon hunt me doing himself. It is so bad I cannot even look at his photos on facebook...I just pass him by. He will need to know...he just has to...But I do not want to be the one to tell him. What bothers me is he does not talk to me, he has my number cannot call me, we are both online facebook, but will not drop a line.

But here is the challlenge. I have another hook up and he wants to meet me on saturday though I do not think it is a good idea. He is cute and all that, but when I have my heart yearning for Rock...I get scared that he will sweep me off my feet and I will lose the Rock...
I think I need to talk to someone about this one

I need to talk to God about this one and what He would do or will do.

The Whole Soul Searching moment

Ok you do not know me right....you prolly do not even know my name. So between me and God, I can pour out my heart content without feeling like someone is going to jeopardize me. Which is probably not important because right now I really do not seem to care what happens the moment I publish this note. Let me just say it this way, I want to make sure that what I am searching for is really the thing that I want in life. The bigger picture: I want to make sure that what I am looking for, this beloved treasure,I am actually hoping that it is from God and part of God's plan. You know I do not want disappointment and even God knows that. However the difference between me thinking the way I am thinking and the way God is, is God will not waiver. So I keep asking that God will send to me His Spirit so that I know I am in the right direction. I do not want to fall, I do not want to miss another miracle like that one I did have.
I want another miracle to write about from my father in heaven, one which will make ask for more and more of Jesus Christ.

You have to understand my situation; when you have lived in a creek, a form of comfort zone, you get ashamed and realize that the oceans are actually wide and can accomodate any of my possibilities. So here is it, I am so ashamed of all the doubts that I cast on my dearest father even when I have lived to see Him perform his miracles. So what if I liked Rock and I want to talk about him? I wonder the same thing...do I even really like him or am I trying to see how far I can push my dreams. But yes, when you are in an ocean, you must be prepared for the storms ahead and I am pretty sure I am prepared for the storms ahead of my time. But I cannot turn back...I cannot turn my back on a dream when I have already witness the first miracle.

There are so many men there that would love me, but I keep thinking of the rock...go back years to our young days...it is a terrible kind of confusion, but when you have to be brave for the life ahead, well I guess that is what they mean but putting your best foot forward. I have done everything right, I am a change girl now, but he is also changed and I must realize that now, that people have changed.

But I have this lovely friend who told me with time I will get all my friends under one roof just like we were before. The only difference is we have all grown up, and moved on with our lives. I can accomodate their newness...but me? I can do that?
This is hard and tough...you know what I am doing? I am not playing it safe, I am pulling a stunt that will give me the lifetime achievement award and I keep telling God, it is your will that is done not mine.

At least God knows I am on a crazy mission, he knows I am not sure about whether I love rock or not, or whether it is because my concept of love is different from the way people think of it...He knows that I need his strength to go this great length. This is my soul searching moment, that I will continue to be at peace with myself and let God lead the way because HE HAS SAID SO!!!!! and that I should be like Abraham and say "God will provide" even when I cannot see what He is providing. If Abraham could be that daring, what more can I do when I know I have Jesus Christ to speak on my behalf...to just tell the Father that me too, I hope to have a husband and it is in my heart. For Jesus Christ to tell the Father that it is in my heart that I would love to settled down with Rock...

There are other men there...but with Jesus Christ, while deciding to die for us, there were other option...but He chose the road to eternity.
My prayer to the Father is that He knows my heart...knows each time I am thinking about Rock and hoping it will happen...one day there will be a coffee session which will lead to many other thing.

This is not a deal, but my human heart speaking in a tone of humility, wanting to move the step forward with the blessings from God my father.

Just because I love Him.