INSPIRATION

I do not want to imagine that I am playing a cat and mouse game with God regarding going to church, but it is such a shame that I am actually not going. Okay I do not mean to state that I hardly ever think of going to church, but I guess in truth, I really try. I try to go to church and I would Love to go to church. Reason, suddenly, I want to have this relationship with the Father in richness and fulfillment and always remember than I am His child. Going to church to me is about obligation and returning to my Father what He has given to me over the days that have passed. It is the only time I think I would spend listening to Him through his people's sermon about Him and most of the time, He gives me the answers to my questions through these men of God.

It is tough, but I have to try and try and try and make sure I do have time for God. It is painful when I realize that I do have time to do other things but when it comes to God I do not have time for Him. Yes I do pray and read the Bible, but He is telling me there is more that I can do now so that in the future it will make me a better person. I do know that, I do know that He has plans for me.
So what is really bothering me? I spend too much time thinking about my dreams, hopes and inspirations and forget that God is a part of each one of them. I do believe I am aware of the fact that God knows my dreams, hopes and inspiration but I let Him down so badly by not letting Him do His will. The only way for Him to do His will is by me giving Him my everything.

I want to give Him everything of me, so that the only thing I gain is His righteousness and all that is in Him. I do want to give Him the much undivided attention, by looking at Him in a way that I am aware of His presence without asking for too much. I am waiting for a sign...keep pressuring Him I need a sign...always insisting and at the end of the day, because I do not have much faith to tell Him it is well with my soul...I think the Potter just keeps me aside and waits until I am ready and softhearted enough to be moulded into His own likeness and image.

I pray and believe that this coming Sunday, it will be the beginning of looking forward to all coming Sundays and thereafter revelation after revelation from God Himself.